Thursday, January 22, 2015

Confession: I Am Struggling

I have a confession to make. I am struggling.

My baby is almost 12 weeks, and I am struggling.

Believe it or not, I'm NOT struggling being a mom. That part is easy. I love taking care of people, and the fact that she's mine and Leigh's makes it easy. I trust my instincts, I do the best I can and I don't really worry about the rest. I call my mom, I ask Leigh's mom, I google stuff, I try different things, but I don't really stress deep down. I know my baby is thriving.

But I am not. I am struggling to take care of MYSELF. To eat better. To eat enough in the first place. To exercise. To go for a massage because it feels like I've been beat up. To straighten my hair and put on some makeup. I don't feel good. It's not about weight, although the scale has not budged since Arianna was a month old, despite breastfeeding. It's about feeling good about myself and enjoying my life. FACT: not feeling good about yourself can take away from moments of your life. When you are self conscious, or exhausted, or don't fit into any of your clothes, or look back at a picture and aren't happy with what you see.

I keep thinking, I'm going to start tomorrow. I'm a personal trainer, and I know for a fact no one ever starts tomorrow. So how in the world do we get the motivation to move forward TODAY and put ourselves on the priority list? I know it will be worth it once I get started so I'm going to do that. I'm going to start.

Because I know the value of being accountable to others, that's what I'm going to do. I'm telling you all that I'm going to make myself a priority from this moment on. I actually started today. I ate protein pancakes while the clock still said AM. I know I don't have much time to blog at the moment, so my plan is to use my fitness instagram again. If you are anything like me, you probably hate when people post nonstop fitness posts (or maybe nonstop baby posts, in which case you are probably no longer following me) which is why I'm going to use a separate instagram. I'm going to attempt to document each and every choice I make that constitutes as taking care of myself. I'm also going to document when I'm struggling.

So if you want to follow along, I'll be posting daily on my instagram: @tarenfit

Here goes nothing!

1 comment:

  1. I have the opposite problem. I've been back in the gym hitting it pretty hard but I just need to get my healthy diet into place. I'd love to follow someone who knows what they're doing post something realistic that I can follow day by day that doesn't require a large expensive grocery trip. I have protein powder and would love to find some recipes to incorporate that into.