Friday, January 6, 2017

The Opposite of Complaining

image via Mad Kitty Media

The thing about being a mom and trying to blog is that I have a million thoughts in my head and I don't know how to organize them into readable words. I wish IKEA sold baskets for thoughts.

Today I want to talk about something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Complaining and positive thinking. I read an article last night about studies that show that constantly complaining can actually rewire the brain to complain even more which can make you feel anxious and depressed all the time.
I know for me personally when I'm venting to one of my friends I can feel the conversation becoming kinda downer which is when I'll try to twist it to something positive so that I don't take my friends down with me. I've noticed that as soon as I put a positive spin on something I instantly feel better.

Now there is complaining and then there is real life shit. The real bad stuff. There is nothing wrong with being upset about real life stuff. The difference is venting about it, talking about it, maybe even having a little cry and then just trying to be positive. There are some things in life that happen to people and I always think how do they even go on? But the fact is humans are SO RESILIENT. If we are strong and try to focus on gratitude we can handle this tough stuff. Sometimes it's' going to suck and sometimes we may get broken hearts but we will survive. I see people on Instagram and blogs going through some of the toughest stuff imaginable and I kind of want to smack myself for complaining about stupid things like traffic or my beautiful funny toddler destroying my house on the daily.

Just to clarify I am most definitely not saying that you should shove your emotions down. If you are sad, anxious, upset, or angry it's a fantastic idea to get those feelings OUT. Talking to a friend, therapy, journaling, whatever works for you. I do them all. Don't keep that stuff in. The difference is not dwelling on it so that you can enjoy and be grateful for the positive things that are happening too.

I declared that I was going to be super positive and non complain-ey for 2017. Enter the first few days of back to real life January. By the time Leigh came home on Wednesday night, I had the dinner table set for him and Arianna and my shoes and coat on. Arianna cheerfully said "Bye Mommy!" like she knew I needed a break after being with her for the entire day with NO NAP. After grocery shopping with friends (yes, we sometimes do this together) and a dinner out, I felt way better. I filled my cup.

The next morning I was determined to have a different kind of day so I put on some music to start my day. You Gotta Be by Desiree always makes me feel pumped for the day. I let the playlist continue into more happy songs and I actually left the house in a great mood and had a really good day. Even though it was also a no nap day.

My mom has always had this habit of making me list things I was grateful for when I was upset. I would always get so annoyed but I now do it all the time and it never fails to perk me up. Gratitude journals are also great. I have never been able to be consistent with this but I'm going to try this year. My favourite dayplanner (which you can get at Michael's) makes a mini planner that I think would be great for this. That way you have a little spot to write something each day.

As I write this post I am thinking about how everyone says you should pick a word for the year. I feel like my word should be whatever the opposite of complaining is. Which really would be gratitude but sounds so cliche. However, I have never been more grateful than I am right now.

I would LOVE to know your guys' thoughts on this subject. Do you feel like you complain too much? Do you have tools that you use to turn your day more positive?

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